Posts Tagged ‘honeymoon’

The bride stripped bare

July 13, 2018

In the honeymoon suite, while undressing,
She said to herself, “Well, I’m guessing,
He’ll want his root now,
But he’s drunk, anyhow,
And might not get it up. What a blessing!”

For better or worse

May 22, 2018

Well, he’s certainly unprepossessing,
She thought, while the groom was undressing,
Except for his cock!
The young bride gasped in shock,
And then fainted, (in fact quite a blessing!)

Lyme Regis

February 15, 2018

The cad took the girl down to Lyme Regis,
(The boarding house, although prestigious,
Still turned a blind eye
To the honeymoon lie,)
And abused her in ways quite egregious!

For better or worse

February 7, 2018

She was game, the young bride, quite intrepid;
She knew that the Lord was her shepherd,
But though he took charge,
His cock wasn’t that large,
And his lovemaking sort of, well, tepid.

Best man

November 15, 2016

On the honeymoon, as she undressed,
The young bride, feeling guilty, confessed
That she’d fucked the best man,
Once, by chance, not by plan,
And the groom might come off second best!



Getting off on the wrong foot

September 3, 2016

After one day of marriage they parted.
“He came, I was just getting started,”
She sobbed to her Mum,
“He rolled off, slapped my bum,
Then just turned off the bed-light and farted!”


August 9, 2016

Naked, shy, the bride’s beauty unveiled,
Beside whom all other girls paled!
Her love in her eyes,
Open arms, parted thighs,
And in ten seconds flat, she’d been nailed!



The mother of invention

June 7, 2011

In the past, when a woman was wed,
She’d be later escorted to bed,
And the white wedding sheet
Would be hung in the street,
As a proof she was virgin, and bled.

Though all knew that brides’ blood must be shed
Many brides, I suspect, and it’s said,
Fooled their husbands, of course,
With some raspberry sauce,
Or some wine, or most anything red.