Posts Tagged ‘bride’

The bride stripped bare

July 13, 2018

In the honeymoon suite, while undressing,
She said to herself, “Well, I’m guessing,
He’ll want his root now,
But he’s drunk, anyhow,
And might not get it up. What a blessing!”

For better or worse

May 22, 2018

Well, he’s certainly unprepossessing,
She thought, while the groom was undressing,
Except for his cock!
The young bride gasped in shock,
And then fainted, (in fact quite a blessing!)

For better or worse

February 7, 2018

She was game, the young bride, quite intrepid;
She knew that the Lord was her shepherd,
But though he took charge,
His cock wasn’t that large,
And his lovemaking sort of, well, tepid.

The bride and her mother

October 19, 2017

The poor tearful bride told her mother:
“You said it was bad, but oh brother!
My cunt, in the first place,
Like, wasn’t the worst place,
But God! Did it hurt in the other!”

Father knows best

January 30, 2017

“Well, my son, she’s a beautiful bride,”
Said his dad, “but still, cast your net wide.
She’s a good fuck, I know;
Keep your eyes open, though,
For the chance of a bit on the side!”



Best man

November 15, 2016

On the honeymoon, as she undressed,
The young bride, feeling guilty, confessed
That she’d fucked the best man,
Once, by chance, not by plan,
And the groom might come off second best!



Getting off on the wrong foot

September 3, 2016

After one day of marriage they parted.
“He came, I was just getting started,”
She sobbed to her Mum,
“He rolled off, slapped my bum,
Then just turned off the bed-light and farted!”


August 9, 2016

Naked, shy, the bride’s beauty unveiled,
Beside whom all other girls paled!
Her love in her eyes,
Open arms, parted thighs,
And in ten seconds flat, she’d been nailed!



A mother’s encouragement

July 21, 2016

Could sex be quite as bad as it sounded?
Her mother’s words left her confounded!
What? Pinned to the bed
By her husband, she’d said,
Her poor cunt being pummelled and pounded!

Star-crossed lovers

July 28, 2015

As the dagger plunged into her breast,
That by Romeo sweetly caressed,
Who lay dead by the side
Of his five-days-old bride,
“What a fuck-up!” she thought, unimpressed.